Post a joke

[Loken]

Hehe nice thread ;D

If a man is walking in a forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

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Sitting together on a train, traveling through the Canadian Rockies, were an American guy, a Canadian guy, a little old Greek lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts.
The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the American has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.

The little old Greek lady thinks: The American guy must have groped the blonde in the dark and she slapped his cheek.

The blonde girl thinks: That American guy must have tried to grope me in the
dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.

The American thinks: The Canadian guy must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.

The Canadian thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, just so I can smack
the American again.


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A man gets a new job and has to move to Ontario. On his first day to work he's driving down the freeway, when his car phone rings.

Answering, he hears his wife's voice frantically telling him, "Phinious, I just saw on the morning news that their traffic helicopter is following a car going the wrong way on Highway 401. Please be careful!"

"Jesus" says Phinious, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

[«PWC»Jon9908]

Q: why was the blonde happy about completing the puzzles?
A: cause she finished it in a year when it said 2-3 years on the box!

[ShoMeTheMoney]>USK<[]

Anyone ever accidentally seen their parents having sex?

...

Last time i go on that website.

[ajb303}N{]

Dec 3, 2008 21:30:18 GMT -5 ShoMeTheMoney]>USK<[ said:

Anyone ever accidentally seen their parents having sex?

...

Last time i go on that website.

now THATS funny! haha ;D

[cr4zyg00d]

hahahahahahaha. shomethemoney that was awesome hahaha.

[ajb303}N{]

Dec 1, 2008 16:14:05 GMT -5 ineedhelp}N{ said:

Dec 1, 2008 13:33:01 GMT -5 Rugal said:

I would post some stuff, but it is all crude and highly inappropriate for this forum...

same here and some are just downright cruel lol

I got some too, i just try and pick out the milder ones. I only mentioned "not too crude of jokes" to keep everyone happy.
Upon that note:
A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it– stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt.” “That’s when I made my big mistake.” “What did you do?” asks the doctor.

“Well, I lifted the cow’s tail again and yelled to my wife, “Hey, this looks like yours!” “I don’t remember much after that!”
(not mine, got it off website)

[phantomvirus]

Ok, heres one more related but a little more funny. Three men are stranded on a desert island. Canables on the island find them. As the men beg for their life they said they may spare them if they past their test. They are told to grab three fruits of the same kind. The first grabs 3 Apples, and the canables tell them that if they can shove them down their butt he will live. He tries very hard but fails and gets eaten. The second grabbed 3 cherries and was told to do the same thing. He was just about to put the third through when he started laughing histaracly. The canables were dishonored so they ate him. In heaven, the first guy asks the second guy "why did you start laughing, you were going to live! The second man replies " Because the third guy had three watermelons!!!!!!

[ineedhelp}N{]

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

LOL okay maybe a bit much for some but what the hell

[Sniper]>USK<[]

ROFL help

[ajb303}N{]

Haha, good one.

[Deandoona]>USK<[]

A man got a desk to build and didn't want to do it alone, so he calls a few friends.
(calling his first friend)

"hey there, was wondering if you wanted to help me build this new desk for me in my house?" The man says
"no thankyou, I'm blowing bubbles," the friend says

(so he calls his other friend)

"Hey, would you like to help me build this cool desk in my house with me?" The man says
"No, I'm sorry" ,the friend says, "I'm blowing bubbles."

So he calls his last friend.

"hello?" the man says.
"hey this is bubbles"

[phantomvirus]

OK, its time for a joke. My appologies if Bad or Alex is , this is just a joke I mean no offence.

A decided to change her hair color to red and live in the countryside out side the city. She passed by a shepard and his sheep and decided to stop there. She asked the shepard "If I can guess how many sheep you have can I have one for myself?" The shepard thought that the woman could never guess it so for the heck of it he agreed. By sheer luck alone, she guessed the right amount. After choosing one sheep, the shepard went up to her and said" If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?

[cr4zyg00d]

lmfao virus